COLLEGE – Grant Dawson is facing a new type of problem that he can’t find in his Selling 101. In fact, Dawson is still unaware that he is even facing a problem. The young dealer’s friends back on campus can’t seem to relate to his constant use of book selling analogies and it’s making them frustrated with the newly selected student manager — much like Mrs. Jones when she gets frustrated when you won’t tell her the price after she’s asked repeatedly but instead you continue with a 3 minute price build-up.
In a rush comparable to making a Saturday morning appointment on time out in the country, Dawson anxiously hurried back to his college campus this week ready to share stories of his summer achievements and selection as a student manager. Dawson finished his summer hitting I Wanna Win and feeling as accomplished during checkout as you do those times when you sell your last house after a long slow day. Dawson and friends gathered at a local campus deli for lunch to share stories of their own summer adventures. The young dealer spoke up first noting that his mental and emotional challenges were “as tough as knocking in big brick without names,” but that the experience was rewarding, eye opening, and helped him learn a lot about himself; part of that 20% of learning that he still had left to do in life since surpassing 8 years of age, as his kids book intro explained for most of July.
“I think I’ll get the dill chicken salad loaded with a side of potato salad and an Arnold Palmer to drink. That sure beats a PB&J and a warm bottle of water, am I right fellas?” remarked Dawson over his menu choice.
“Whats the deal with Dawson?” inquired his dorm neighbor Brian Baldwin to reporters. “No one knows what the hell he’s talking about. He just totally weirded out that guy working behind the counter saying he had enough to pay for his whole meal and wasn’t going to be a ‘weak customer’ and said something about how lunch only cost him one and a half units. What’s a unit?”
Dawson continued saying that his class load looked tough this semester, but not nearly as bad as starting a brand new school district on a Monday in the rain, continuing on about how expensive his one-semester-only textbooks were compared to the books he sold all summer.
Dawson’s method of establishing rapport with his campus friends is proving continually ineffective much in the same way that using public school names with a private school mom makes no connection. His attempts at relating his experience in the summer have gone worse than selling a big package with little or no money down to a mother and delivering it two months later to the father who is home alone and hearing about it for the first time.
Company officials told reporters that they recommend students go easy on “book talk” when they arrive back at campus and remember that their friends may not understand their comparisons or examples; much like mothers don’t understand the phrase “I’m working for my dad this week” when you tell them about your work goals during Dad’s week and then they’re confused about what you’re doing all over again, and they don’t buy.
Officials added that Dawson may be falling into the common trap of nervously talking at his friends instead of talking with them when trying to convey his enthusiasm; much like beginning dealers brainlessly stumble through the sales talk and introduction questions thinking that it’s just some formality they were told to do when really it’s an opportunity to make your connections and listen for a need.
“In these cases, what we’ve found typically happens is that the dealer goes back to school making obscure references, loses all their friends, and recruits zero people. It happens every year,” commented Lee McCroskey to reporters. “It’s just like when you sell to a mom and then dad walks in the door during cash collection. No, wait, it’s more like when you’ve got your names rolling and then all of a sudden someone makes a neg facebook post about you…. or, actually it’s more like the first year who comes to sales school overly prepared and overconfident and then gets destroyed their first week. Yeah, I guess it’s more like that. Or maybe its more like…” (McCroskey continued on for another 15 minutes)
Back on his campus territory, Dawson is still giving failed Bookfield analogies much to the chagrin of his circle of friends and roommates at his college HQ.
“This has been a total BWOTSSFA, guys — Best week of the school-year so far… Awesome!”
MARIETTA, GA – On Tuesday of week 8, third summer dealer Kyle Flannigan (pictured far right) got a handful of character. “Uggghhhh, come on! Week 8? Third summer?! You’re better than this,” yelled Flannigan at his pre-approach pad before tossing it in the backseat of his ’96 Saturn on the way home. The top experienced dealer from last summer has continued this year with plenty of burger days, and flirted with steak days throughout the month of June.
Flannigan’s sale came at 3:50pm to a young woman, Jessica Murphy, who was pregnant with her first child. “Even that was kinda weird – the one sale I did make was half-down to a lady who hadn’t even had her kid yet. I read her the definition for “collide” though and she was totally into it,” reflects Flannigan.
“Whenever I sit down in the driver seat, a puff of dust fills the air. Sometimes it reminds me of Pig-Pen from Charlie Brown,” added Smits. Being an experienced dealer has taken her to states such as Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, among others, but this summer presented this Org Leader with a new challenge.
Sarah Walker was on cloud 9 as she drove back to her HQ after finishing her last appointment Saturday evening. The first year dealer who had just wrapped up her 5th week selling, had sold a 36 unit package at her final house which pushed her day’s total to a solid 104.
At 10:06pm Sarah’s hunger, along with her sales total, took her to the Chambersburg McDonalds for a quarter pounder. After placing her order, she pulled to the window and greeted the employee with an enthusiastic high-five. The confused employee responded with a nervous chuckle and then requested payment to which Sarah replied, “$6.24?! No problem, cause I just had my first burrrgerrrr dayyyy! How ya like me now!”
Concerns are growing amongst dealers as some have even started spotting them in the shrubbery near their own HQ.
Bookfield Bulletin 