Everyone is always telling us to lose our “cool cards” before the summer, but we all know that’s a joke. It’s all about that summer SWagger. I mean, do you think Dave Kleifgen sells 200 units a day just because he smiles and has good turf? No. There’s more to it. SWag is the power-name of the game. The better your game, the more sales you make. And let’s be real, units and customers are the only things people really listen to in the recognition circle on Sunday anyway.
What makes me a credible source for what’s hot and what’s not? I’m in TD for Mort’s sake – I know hotness up close and personal. So, if you want to maximize your chances of catching the eye of a top producer at checkout, control a controllable: your book SWagger. Follow this list of What’s Hot and What’s Not for Summer ‘14.
It’s a sales AND LEADERSHIP program. Sales is hot and all, but you know what’s super hot – teaching rookies how to crank product like little mini-yous.
Guys, I can tell you that there is nothing sexier than being serenaded with tunes like ‘Wiggle Wiggle’ by Jammer and Pop, especially around Week 6 or 7. You can expect a longer goodbye hug on Sundays from bookgirls if you bring your guitar to the “PC.”
Girls, it’s time to step it up. We are collectively to blame for book hotties like Mike Ford, Charlie Winn, Chris Salata, Dan Milus, Eric Blaser, etc. leaving the bookfield. So throw away your crew necks and polos and go snag some cheap v-necks from Target or Old Navy. This will exponentially increase the amount of pump up calls you get from book guys, as well as your Facebook Likes from single dads.
A company-approved toy to record videos and take pics of all the random weirdness we see in and around people’s homes? Yes, please! Take advantage of this. Show off your collection at night to your roommates and on Sundays to the org.
Actions speak louder than words. This summer, impress followers and say “I’m hot” with a travel size bottle of Gold Bond powder in your cup holder next to that Mountain Dew. Staying dry helps your attitude, which helps your units, which is so hot you’ll need to apply more Gold Bond.
Sure most of us only use Facebook anymore for the chatting feature and to let our parents and grandparents see the selected parts of our lives that we allow them to see. So, since Facebook has been taken over by our parents and their friends, it’s perfect for summer selling. Crack into Mrs J’s good graces, and into her friend circle, and you’re gonna drop some bags. Meanwhile, follow me on Twitter & Insta for the real deal.
We all know the saying, “The bigger the shoe, the bigger the… (let’s say foot).” Well this summer it’s more like “The brighter the fanny pack, the bigger the cool card.”
“Go for the bag” can be used literally and metaphorically. Either way it means you’re taking some kind of action when the easier thing to do is to stay comfortable. Action cures fear and builds confidence. Confidence is hot. Go for the bag.
I can’t emphasize this enough: units are hot. If you’re working, you should hit PC at least once. Seriously, it’s not a big deal. Literally thousands of people have hit PC before. If you’re not hitting it, it’s because you lack book SWagger.
Boom! Zing! Ding Ding Ding! Skurrrt! Whatever noise you want to use, pepper them throughout your demo. It will make the kids laugh, and that will make Mrs J like you. When Mrs J likes you, she buys. Lots of customers? Lick your finger, touch that booty and say, “Tssssss” – because you’re hot.
The number of colors in your pen is like the number of followers you want behind you. One follower is fine. Two or more followers and it just gets awkward for everyone. “Mrs Jones, do you have a large wrap-around sectional couch where all of us can sit down?” Who uses green ink anyway? Gross.
Ok so if you actually take the time each morning to apply hair product, you are a d-bag, and automatically a low producer. Don’t try to pull off some Ryan Davis hair fad during the summer. It’s not cool on the Bookfield and you will just end up looking like a bad episode of Jersey Shore by your 2nd goal period.
You know who doesn’t have to deal with car problems their entire summer? Walkers and people who drive normal bookmobiles. Both groups are cooler than someone clanking up Mrs J’s drive in a bucket of rust. Remember the bookmobile Spade & Farley drove in Tommy Boy? Yeah, that’s you.
Nobody likes lugging a laundry basket full of Advantage books and an Adventure Library up to the family 25 miles out that was a weak MuFu, just to get the money objection again. So not hot. Cash people out and do like 1 day of delivs, at most. That’s hot. Exception: rookies; because they need to know what deliveries are like.
How can Mrs. Jones take you seriously as a college student if you’re stuck in 1998? Kevin Johnson is the only exception to this rule, and it’s because he sold a lot of units in his day and is now married with kids. Dads are allowed to wear cargo shorts. “But I need extra pockets for my granola bars!” Ugh. Please.
Nothing screams call 911 like living out in BFE and having an unexpected stranger pull up your drive at ten till 10 sprinting up to your door with a dark backpack full of danger. Set appointments for night. Appointments are cool, and they buy units like 90% of the time. Or just go home when it’s dark out so you can get into bed before midnight. Sleep deprivation is also not hot.
It’s an unfortunate reality for some of us. “What did you do on your 21st? I sold books door to door, drank a lot of water, and went to bed at a reasonable hour!” Not partying on your 21st is not hot, but that’s just how it is. And that’s ok, because it makes checkout that much better. Delay your gratification, Millenial!
You know who texts during the day? Low producers. Do you know why they’re low producers? Because they’re texting. Go to work and get units. “OMG just met a hot dad!”
I don’t care. Why? Because I meet hot dads all the time – I’m working, not texting. I’ve got people to outsell and you’re obviously one of them.
It’s over. We’re done with that one. It’s been drilled into people’s ears more times than ‘Get Lucky’ and ‘Blurred Lines’ put together. Pick a new word!
This is ‘Merica. We’re ‘Mericans selling in ‘Merica. You will dress as obnoxiously patriotic as humanly possible. Go Hans Schlegel-style and rock a red white and blue mullet wig. Shoot some bottle rockets out of your fanny pack. Put a handful of mini flags in an Abe Lincoln tophat. Flag pattern sunglasses. If you don’t look like national anthem puked on a bald eagle then you’re doing it wrong.
Hope this has been helpful. Now use that SWagger to produce this summer. See ya in the Pacesetter.