Clerical error places another alum selling custom clothing for Tom Jones

Whats Hot, What’s Not for Summer ’14

The 10 Crushes of Your Book-selling Career

Family Upset With Salata For Selling Them Yacht That Was On Fire

Southwest Airlines Tired of Everyone Referring To Them As ‘Southwestern’ 

4 Summer Alum Credits Success to Sales Experience With Southwest Books

Irresponsible Mother Knowingly Allows Husband to Leave House With All of Family’s Cash, All Checkbooks, All Debit/Credit Cards at Once

Editorial: “How to BWOTSSFA” by Wade Burkholder

Bookfield Residents Busy Preparing For Summer by Losing Jobs, Ignoring Budgets

Rick Perry Headlines

Early Champions Prepare For Upcoming Sizzler Trip

Beverly Hodges Finishes Thinking About It, Ready To Buy

Parents Boast 2nd Grader’s Normalcy as ‘Talented & Gifted’

Editorial: Every Kid In My Turf Had Straight A’s or ADHD

Common Denominator of Success Turns Out To Be Territory Becoming Self-Aware

Weak Customer Backs Out of Order, Nation Shocked

Malone NY Celebrates Dirt Pile Story, Erects Statue of Lee McCroskey

Dealer Unfairly Charges Customers More For Books Than What Dealer Paid For Them

SW Alum Expected Book Selling Experience Would Lead To Bigger Things Than Living Around Baltimore

Opinion: There Aint No Kids Through Here

Mom Buys In Spite of Dealer

North Buffalo Homeschool Mom Pleasantly Surprised SW Advantage Teaches Robotology

Supreme Court Rules Explore & Learn ‘Build Your Own Handgun’ Project Protected By 2nd Ammendment

SW Confession: Aaron Schafer “I Have No Clue What The TLCs Do”

Kevin Johnson: My Secret To My Selling Success — Onomatopoeia

MFWW Thinks It Has Better Examples Than ‘Cow’

Opinion: They Wouldn’t Be Interested Either

Opinion: You Should Try The School

Mr. M Seen At Trader Vic’s Drinking a Pina Colada, His Hair Was Perfect

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke Announces Use of Success Coin To Back US Currency

40 Year Old Mark Silvestro On Summer #22, Wife & Kids Concerned

Battle-hardened Marine Inspired By Commanding Officer’s Door-to-Door Sales Metaphor

A Look Through History: Origins of Objections

New Years Bookfield Resolutions

Sizzler Highlights

How are you preparing for Sizzler?

What are you planning to do with the time you’re saving with your new books?


Davis Rushed to Landers Plaza For Emergency Tweet

Company Asks Employees to Carpool, Making Room For Growing Landers Plaza Auto-Graveyard

Moore ‘Catfished’ as Investigation Finds Mr. Mediocrity To Be Fictional Character

Local Alum Celebrates 10,000th Consecutive Warm Shower

Dealer Excited To Be Rejected By Women His Own Age Again

Student Manager Uses ‘Feel Felt Found’ To Shove 6,000 Units In Cardboard Boxes Into Local Pet Store Owner’s Dumpster

SW Board of Directors Hit Sizzler, Growth, IWW With 43.6M Unit Insurance Company Package

Bookfield Terrorists Plant Rejection-free Park Bench in Local Neighborhood

A Look Ahead: SW in the year 2062

2012 Sales Talk To Be ‘Dumbed Down’ For iGeneration

Day 6 of police manhunt for student who didn’t show up to day 1 follow-up meeting

Troop 392 to Seek SW’s Advice Over Smear Site

SW Alum Doctor Under Scrutiny For Prescribing Positive Phrases To Pneumonia Patients

Coffee Shop Employee Wondering What Guy In Dress Clothes Is Doing There For Seven Hours Everyday

Chance encounter with Dealers leaves Perry torn between running for President and selling books again

SW Milestones: Craig Intro Revolutionizes Sales Talk

Southwestern Traces Source of All Company Problems To Humans Interacting With Humans

Chuck Norris vs Dan Moore

Student Overusing Bookfield Analogies, Losing Friends

Early Champion HQ Returns to Joplin For 4th Annual Reunion

TX Gov. Perry’s Presidential Hopes Challenged By 28 Demo Day on Bookfield

MIT Research Team Attributes Astrophysics Breakthrough to Use of Southwestern Robotic Calculators

Southwestern Company Truth Website Seeking Summer Interns, Failures

Unprepared Sales Manager Wings Advanced Sales Presentation

Sales School 1 Month Away, Local Dealer Vomits

Student Commits To Selling Next Summer, A Lot Going On This Year

Pets Hold Press Conference, Apologize For Inappropriate Behavior

Unconfident Recruit Gets Cold Feet About Selling, Zips Up Hoodie

University of Tartu and Phoenix Online Take Top Sales Honors

Santa to teach advanced sales session at GRS: How to see a lot of families in a short amount of time

“Checkbook” Still Not Believed In By Locals Claims Lubbock Co., TX Dealer

Sizzler Highlights

Sizzler Training Begins

Student Signs Dealer Agreement, Will Break Company Record in 2011

Low Attendance at Early Champions Banquet

Potential Recruit Finds Golden “Lifeguarding” Opportunity

SW Founder Remains Oblivious To Company’s 150+ Year Legacy of Success

Guy Who Designed Management Pay Structure Still Only One Able To Understand It

Landers Plaza Battles Snake Infestation

Southwestern To Replace Pacesetter With New Method of Announcing Week Old Information

Company Finally Finds Dealer Willing To Fill Out Summer Feedback Questionnaire After 2 Days of Mind-Numbing Paperwork

Southwestern Replacing ID Photos With Glamour Shots For Superstar Book

Spencer Hays – A Lot On His Mind, No One To ‘Puke Up’ To

Southwestern Renames ‘Wall of Greats’ to ‘Wall of Great’

Bedford Holding Late Summer Dealers Accountable From Hot Air Balloon

Product Spotlight: SW Advantage

Southwestern Announces ‘Bookfield Bulletin Club’ For 3,000 Units In a Week

Language-Barriered Europeans Outselling Lazy English-Speaking Americans Again This Summer

SW Sales Plummet As 500+ Dealers Suffer Heat Related Deaths

Late Cancellation Hits Office, Dave Brown New Company Record Holder

Correction: Bill Zizzi 100% Definitely Working For Southwestern Investments / Raymond James

Nate Vogel’s Helicopter Parents Overly Involved Again

Week 1 Quitter Outsells Company President

Coming This Summer: Easily ruinable plastic bookbag cover…

Southwestern Confession: Company Actually Founded in 2007

New Summer Promotion: Student Manager Club

Potential Lockout, Summer 2011 Remains in Jeopardy

Southwestern To Increase Its Use of Inception in 2011

2010 Crime Report: Shoplifting Cases Double From 1 to 2

Southwestern Launches Business Incubator Incubator

Recent Studies Show Strong Correlation Between Work, Units Sold

Low Attendance at Early Champions Banquet

Winners Announced For 2010 Book Tan Awards

How Bon Jovi Songs Impact Sales

Zizzi/Rosen CD Goes Platinum


University of Mexico Dealers Finish Sales School, Begin Donkey Caravan to Respective Territories

Phi Do Banner Teaches Informative Part on Cash Collection

SUCCESS SURVEY: How Are We Preparing For Sales School?

Fake Dad Walks In During Cash Collection, Blows Practice Sale

Sequester Hits PC Dinner: Entree Now Double-Decker PB&J, Side Salad

TN Lawmakers Ban Downtown Running After War Memorial Stair Incident Results in Tragic 40 Student Pile-up

First Year Finally Going For The Bag of Lunch

Patrick Tullius Selected Again To Run Women’s Meeting in Sales School

Dealers Totally Pumped About [thing]

Area Alumni Tailgate Landers Plaza To Kick Off “Big Week” of Sales School

Visiting WI State Senator Trampled Under Storm of Collegiate Enthusiasm Outside War Memorial

OL Reminds First Years to Learn Intro Word-for-Word In Preparation For Next Week When They’ll Skip It Completely

Student Manager’s PC Dinner Suit To Hang In HQ Closet All Summer

Moore To Add Broken Doorbell To Famous Sales School Door

War Memorial Statue “Tired of Hearing Sales Presentations”

Guys Sharing Hotel Bed is Awkward Claims Every Male First Year

Univ of Southern Georgia Really Going All Out on Execs This Year

Girl Cries in Parking Lot During Sales School, Probably Wont Make It This Summer

Fireside Chat Runs Long 2nd Consecutive Night, Longwinded B-Contract To Blame

Chris Samuels Going With Trusty Grey Suit, Blue Shirt Today

Dealers Welcomed To Sales School Again With Useless Black Bag

Presidents Club Dinner “Totally Badass” Says New Student Manager

Car Caravan To Territory Gets Split Up at Atrium Way Traffic Light


Company decides against instating ‘No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service’ policy to customers for 158th year in a row

Study: Women Named ‘Tammy’ on Bookfield vs Real Life

Over $35 in Checks Handed Out to Canadian Dealers So Far at Checkout

American Dealers Blame 2011 Sales Decline On Not Being European

Stat Shot: 80% of trailer home customers pay in cash, 20% bounce checks

Study: Houses Don’t Buy Books, Neither Do People On Slow Days

Dealers Nationwide Celebrate 4th of July With Direct Sales Crap Shoot

Why Mrs Jones is Objecting At The Door

Frequency of Police Calls

Skill Builder #1 Re-gifted Holiday Item

“…But Don’t Tell ‘Em I Sent You” Expected To Increase in 2011

2010 census report of poorest counties in America released, Bookfield residents expected to ignore it

2010 Crime Report: Shoplifting Cases Double From 1 to 2

How Bon Jovi Songs Impact Sales

How Accurate Are Your Weekly Reports?


Dealer Rejected By Birthday Party On Own Birthday, Cries

Blooming Sizzler Relationship Already Over Reports Facebook

Dealer Totes Angry Birds High Score At Checkout, Summer Check Disappointing

Hyper-Competitive First Year Annihilates Service Minded First Year

Molly Aiken Most Obnoxious Follower

First Year’s Bandmates Wait Faithfully For His Return

First Year Assumes Order Book Will Last Till Next Sunday

Flustered Dealer Uncontrollably Blows Sale

Confused First Year Spends “Dad’s Week” Doing Chores

Family Doesn’t Know How To Make It Any Clearer That They’re Not Interested

Nervous First Year Asks If 4 Month Old Can Read Yet

First Year Finally Collects Check, Puts It Somewhere

First Year Accepts Quid Pro Quo Offer, Learns Painful Lesson

Approach Ruined By Low-flying Plane

Everything “Awesome” According to First Year, Literally Everything

Random First Year Highly Receptive To CEO’s New Idea

Rockville MD Phenomena: ‘Nobody Knows Their Neighbors’ Reports First Year

Area Woman Angry That Dealer Has Come By 3 Years In a Row

First Year Bookmobiles Prepare To Build Character

Summer Reflections: Confused First Year Applies For Marriage Certificate To Territory

Confident First Year Ponders His Own Invincibility

Summer Reflections: Area First Year Shocked That No One Has Heard of Him

Opinion: Area First Year Thinks “Blue houses are A-holes”

No Answer At Door, Garage Closes

Chambersburg, PA McDonald’s Employee Unenthusiastic About Student’s First Burger Day


Hipster Recruiter Unsure How He Feels About Growing Public Awareness of His Unique Indie-Contractor Job

Dealer Frantic After Becoming Nearly 48 Hours Overdue on Daily Success Rent

Humiliated Dealer Recruits Zero People at GRS

Area dealer sells My Set during first goal period, only 9,993 units shy of summer goal

Oklahoma selects Penn State’s Amanda Axt in first round draft for 2012 season

Student Manager Taking Car On Interstate More Often To Practice Drive To Sales School

VCU Student Manager “Rocked It Out” During Phone Time Last Night

Expense Conscious Student Manager Driving With 3 Flat Tires, Optimistically Claiming “They’re Only Flat On The Bottom”

Student Manager Finds Face of Mort Utley on Toast

Supply Guy Breaks Company Record in White Card Sales

Off-Schedule Student Sleeping In Till 7am

Sleep Deprived Dealer Takes Nap in Storage Unit On Pile of Empty Cardboard Boxes

Dealer CODs 318 Customers, Heads To Beach

Unsung Heroes: Phi Do – Only 26 Presentations in Sales School, Miraculously Having Profitable Summer

Dan Cumming Dead at 25yrs, Autopsy Cites Satisfieditis

OL Released From Jail, ‘CREW’s Ranking Police Officer

Dealer Listens To Every Song on iPod, Twice

Dealer Has Repeated Awkward Encounters With Mailman All Day

Unsung Heroes: Danielle Roos

Unsung Heroes: Adam Outland

McDonald Hires Look-alike Hotel Staffer To Run Sunday Meeting, Spends Afternoon Golfing

OL’s Roommates Quit, Does Execs Alone Each Morning

Opinion: That Door Demo Was Pretty Much a Presentation

Dealer Circles Neighborhood 3 Times Waiting For Family To Go Inside

Dealer Forgets To Get Pre-Approach Again

4th Year Dealer Has Emotional Breakdown To Miley Cyrus Song ‘The Climb

Area Dealer Disappointed With Drinks From Mrs Jones, Remains Thirsty

Dealer Loses Sale, Mom Has GED

OL Opens 10th Bank Account in 4 Summers, Added to TSA’s No-Fly List

HQ Finds Non-Traditional Host Family Accomodations

“Checkbook” Still Not Believed In By Locals Claims Lubbock Co., TX Dealer

Area Mom Rushes Dealer Through Presentation Because She’s “In Sales”

Local Diner Regulars Complain About Smell From Bathroom

Weak Customer Who Hadn’t Cut Their Grass in a While Comes Through at Deliveries

Top Producers Having Trouble Remembering Much of Anything From Yearly Post-Summer Florida Trip

Student Manager Breaks Record For Longest Checkout

Student Accidentally Buys “Crunchy” Granola Bars Week 9

“Uggghhhh” Moans Student Manager After Finishing Day With 1 MFWW Sale

Florida Org Having Trouble Finding Good Radio Stations in Iowa

Rural Oklahoma Dealers Question Ability To Ever Get Cars Clean Again

Purpose of Glass Balls in Front Yards Still Unknown

Student’s Multi-Colored Pen Gets “Jammed” During Gravy


Rau Stripped of Sales and Recruiting Awards For Being Lance Armstrong Fan

DSM Ford to Leave SW Until Samuels Can Talk Him Back Into It

Mark Rau Finding Time to Mix Business With Business

Grant Greder Admits Every Management Decision He Makes Comes From Magic 8 Ball

Crowd Lost in Tim Ritzer’s Eyes

Editorial: “Sales Decline Due To Recruiting Dorks” by Wade Floyd

Southwestern Renames ‘Wall of Greats’ to ‘Wall of Great’

Matt Ross Sets New Standard In Dressing Down To Office


Struggling Ranol Kasevali Unable to Hit 2,000 Units In a Week

Matt Atchison’s Homebrew Big Hit at Neighborhood Block Party

Devlin Files Lawsuit Against BFB For Slanderous Statements

Manson Guest Speaks at Devlin Org Sunday Meeting

SW Sales Plummet As 500+ Dealers Suffer Heat Related Deaths

Shocking Developments On

SW Confession: Rowdy Green “I Never Lost My Cool Card”

SW Confession: Aaron Schafer “I Have No Clue What The TLCs Do”

Kevin Johnson: My Secret To My Selling Success — Onomatopoeia

Crafton Wakes Entire Sales Base Again With Incessant Late Night Tweets

DSM Matt Ross Off Doing His Own Thing Today

DSM Mike Ford Expected To Mingle With Beautiful Women Again Today

Chris Samuels Going With Trusty Grey Suit, Blue Shirt Today

McDonald Hires Look-alike Hotel Staffer To Run Sunday Meeting, Spends Afternoon Golfing


Nate Vogel’s Helicopter Parents Overly Involved Again

Unprepared Sales Manager Wings Advanced Sales Presentation













Peggy coaches a rookie

Phone Time


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