NASHVILLE – In a series of events that are being described as “bizarre,” an investigation has discovered that the tweets, calls, emails, and text messages received by Dan Moore from a “Mr. Mediocrity” have proven to be nothing more than an elaborate hoax. Sources told BFB reporters it has recently been discovered that since the mid-1970s Moore has been the victim of a highly intricate and complex long con perpetrated by a classmate named Ricky from his New Mexico high school days.
Upon hearing the news of the curtain being pulled on the existence of Mr. Mediocrity, DSMs companywide are anticipating a record-breaking summer.
When reached for comment, Moore told reporters, “Looking back on the whole thing, I don’t know how I didn’t see it right in front of me. It’s embarrassing to think about now. We had been in communication this whole time, but I never once saw him in person. Those countless conversations… those ‘dwoingg’ noises! Sweet Aunt Jemima this is a hard one to swallow. Boy am I red in the face.”
At press time, discussions were overheard by reporters about turning an investigative eye towards Carol Caught-short and Lee McCroskey‘s “Dr. Rock.”