BOOKFIELD – Local residents are welcoming the first days of spring by looking ahead to the days of summer. Members of The Bookfield community have already begun preparing for student dealer arrivals by losing their jobs, planning illnesses, scheduling lavish vacations, and completely ignoring their family budgets at what some are calling “shocking” levels.
When reached for comment, local factory worker Earl Reiner told reporters, “I want to be able to tell them salespeople that I’ve been unemployed for 3 months when they show up. I figure if I quit or get laid off now, then the timing will be about right.”
Homemaker Shelby Herts, who recently decided to stop checking her bank statement in order to become clueless about her budget, is anticipating complete financial chaos come mid to late June. “I can say ‘No’ and not feel as guilty about it if my finances are a legitimate embarrassing disaster,” noted Herts.
Sources also report that local newlyweds Chris and Kelly Walker recently sat down to a serious discussion about not making any purchases for their baby that were over $100 without first consulting with the other.
At press time, officials were organizing a town meeting to drastically increase the frequency of county fairs, parades, little league games, church activities, and any other excuse that would keep local families from being home in the evenings or on Saturdays.