UNIV of NEW MEXICO – Sacrificing what he wants the most for what he wants in the moment, student manager Kevin Shreeve has all but given up on his semester’s goals and instead chosen to sleep in until 7am nearly everyday since returning to campus. Shreeve, who many days this summer would wake up automatically before his 5:59am alarm, has fallen into what appears to be a success-ruining trap of compromises and mediocrity from his campus peers. According to his sales manager Matt Ross, Shreeve once showed the potential to do great things.
Ross told reporters, “It’s disappointing to see someone do so well during their summer, just to go back to campus and display such acts of underachievement. I’m definitely having second thoughts about him returning as a manager again next summer. I mean, this is not the kind of example or lifestyle of a true leader.”
“He used to only do this on weekends,” recalls roommate Jeff Mills. “Now it’s turned into a daily habit. I barely recognize him. I miss the Kevin I used to know.”
According to sources and friends, Shreeve seems to have begun what is known as the “bargaining” stage of self-destruction where a person rationalizes their actions causing them to believe their own lies they are telling themselves. Friends have recalled hearing Shreeve blatantly trick himself saying that sleeping until 7am is “normal” and that he “still has plenty of time to shower, dress, and eat before his 8am classes.”
At press time, the other UNM student managers were making plans for a group intervention at this week’s campus meeting.