FAIRFAX, VA – Charles and Lucy Richards declined purchase of educational products this summer from student manager Daniel Burke-Aguero stating that their 2nd grade child Claire was already “talented and gifted” and “in the advanced class” due to her extraordinary achievements beyond measure. According to the Richards, Claire has been a “4.0 student since Kindergarten” on a grading scale that has so far used a 1-5 stars grading system as well as E for Excellent, S for Satisfactory, and so on.
“Claire clearly doesn’t need any supplemental educational resources since she’s a top student. She’s probably reading and spelling four-letter words at a sixth grade level; she can even do three-digit addition and subtraction. She knows her address, phone number, her colors, even how to send an email,” stated Mrs. Richards proving that her daughter was in fact one of the most brilliant children in our modern times.
Mr. Richards voiced straight facts to reporters as well. “Oh, and just the other day Claire pointed out that Richmond was the capital city here in Virginia; and she’s only seven years old! C’mon, what other seven year old kid knows the city of their state’s capital? And then here comes someone trying to sell educational books to a family with a child who is this smart? Ha! Claire knows everything that’s in those books already,” said the father in regards to books that explain school subjects all the way up to the advanced levels of calculus and physics.
Mrs. Richards added a valid point saying, “Here’s the obvious part that every parent already knows: If your child did well in pre-school, Kindergarten, first grade, and is already showing signs of doing well in the beginning weeks of second grade, then they’re obviously going to do well every year in school all the way through college. So far, school hasn’t even been a challenge for Claire. Why would we think that she might struggle with something down the road when every year so far she has excelled?”
Burke-Aguero explained to reporters that he chose not to spend more than a few minutes conversing with the Richards family recalling how the parents began making almost passive-agressive comments towards his products as they described their daughter’s level of knowledge.
“At one point the mom laughed and mentioned that Claire could probably call the Explore & Learn series ‘Been There, Done That’ because she’s allegedly been doing science projects since she could sit up,” explained Burke-Aguero.
Giving even more proof to their intelligence objection, Mrs. Richards explained that Claire knows the names of everyone in her classroom, what season it is, how to tell time on a digital clock, what the president looks like, types of weather, how to identify foods and animals, and how to swim — all accomplishments of past Nobel Prize winners.
At press time, the Richards family was huddled around the TV watching Dancing With The Stars to enhance Claire’s appreciation and learnedness of fine arts and cultures.