BOULDER, CO – Local mother of two, Anne Hiroshima, purchased the Southwest Advantages system today from a dealer she found obnoxious, irritating, and detestable. Hiroshima had nothing but positive things to say about the Southwest Advantages and how excited she was to have new quality resources for her children’s education this year. The dealer she purchased from though, Chad Pointer, “bugged the absolute [expletive] out of me for 20 minutes,” explained Hiroshima to reporters.
“Seriously, these books and online resources are fantastic. They’re going to help a lot when the kids are studying and I’m trying to help out, but that Chad kid just made me want to punch him in the throat from the minute he starting talking out of his big dumb head at my front door. He’s just one of those people that you hate the second you see him, but you don’t know why. Then he starts showing me these awesome books and software, and I page through it for a while and know immediately that it will help us out. Seriously, I’m really excited. These resources are gonna be fantastic, but as for Chad, I swear if I see him again running through the neighborhood it will take everything in my power not to swerve my car at him.”
Hiroshima told reporters that she valued nothing more than her children’s education, and continually seeks out quality products to help them in any way possible. Hiroshima was especially excited about having something to refresh her on the rules of punctuation, grammar, algebra, and history dates just to name a few. Also, her family having access to the same help online was going to be “incredibly beneficial.”
“It’s such a relief to know that this next school year, which will be much more difficult than the last, will be met by a well prepared family with the tools that will help them win their fight against homework,” laughed Hiroshima, adding, “But let me be clear about something. If I see that little [derogatory slur] anywhere in my sight again, telling his ‘funny’ little jokes, name dropping and wearing that out-of-date tasteless decrepit little fanny pack, trying to by my ‘friend’, it’ll be the last anyone will ever see of that little [expletive].