Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke Announces Use of Success Coins To Back US Currency

Bernanke indicating the approximate size of two Success Coins

WASHINGTON – In an unprecedented move to correct runaway inflation, Bernanke activated Proposal 1344 at yesterday’s press conference.  Starting on June 15, the US Dollar’s value will be measured exclusively against the Success Coin.  Absolutely no one could have predicted such a maneuver, but the Fed Chairman insisted saying, “I think that this could definitely maybe fix this mess.”  Established economic expert Peter Schiff articulated several problems with Proposal 1344.  Among Schiff’s concerns were the difficulties in accounting for all Success Coins presently in circulation, older generations’ insistence that it was a lot harder to earn the Success Coin “back in their day”, and the accounting nightmare that would naturally arise from the principle that “success is never owned; it’s rented, and the rent is due everyday.”

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