TARTU – According to statements made at a recent press conference, overwhelmingly busy District Sales Leader Andres Martin recently finished up an incredibly successful week of recruitment and team building at the University of Tartu in Estonia. One thing that Martin neglected to prepare for during his intense work week was his much anticipated advanced sales presentation for new student managers and full-time recruiters.
Tartu reporters described Martin as “flustered” and “all over the place” trying to make his points about how to increase customers this summer, get more presentations, and close a higher percentage of prospects.
Martin began addressing the students by saying, “Well, uhhhhh…. lets see. Hmmmm… advanced sales, advanced sales……. It’s like, you know, you just gotta go out there and make it happen. It’s all about how bad you want it. And if you really want it, then you really want it. Right? Alright.”
When speaking on the subject of how to have a big gravy, Martin said, “A lot of Dealers think it’s like ‘what?’ when really its more, you know, different than it really is. It’s like two birds, one stone, you know? And whether you think you can or can’t you’re right.”
Added Martin on the subject of prospecting, “Hey, you win some, you lose some. So go think positively and believe it. Because I think everyone knows….uhhhmm…. the grass is always greener. So be sure you’re making it happen.”
A confused room of Student Dealers kept raising their hands with questions which seemed to cause Martin to become distracted and even more self-aware of his forgetfulness in preparing the 20 minute part to end the campus meeting. Noticeable beads of sweat began to form on his brow to match the forming sweat spots on his shirt underneath his arms.
“Remember, quitters never win and then the winners never quit, and the glass is half full or it’s not. It’s a wind in your sails kind of thing… or something,” answered Martin when asked how to get in more doors in a brand new sales territory.
Martin touched on how to answer objections with, “Remember what Zizzi said on his CD about being a ‘bad mamma jamma’ and if you do that then it’ll all work ok. Nothing to fear but fear itself. Plenty of fish in the sea.”
“Just remember when you’re out there that its all about the end, and the now. Put the people first, work hard, and you’ll know that when it comes down to the nitty gritty, you just gotta go with your gut. Can’t teach old dogs new tricks, am I right?” explained Martin, bringing his allotted 20 minute part to a close 14 minutes ahead of schedule.
When reached for comment by reporters after his presentation, a relieved Martin stated, “Wheeewww, I completely forgot to prepare for that part. But I think all things considered, it went pretty well and no one could tell I was making it up as I went. I probably should’ve ended with ‘It’s gonna be a great summer!’ though instead of ‘Peace out, girl scouts.'”