Summer Reflections: Confused First Year Applies For Marriage Certificate To Territory

LINCOLN, NE  –  Ethan Mitchell, a first year dealer from Ole Miss, had a rough start to his second week of the summer. The eager young student had just finished a fairly standard first week of sales with 135 units and, along with the other rookies, had many questions at his first Sunday meeting.

“Well, the OL was talking about how he was proud of us for our work stats and we would do really well if we kept working hard. But then everyone kept asking tons of questions, and I guess I got sidetracked. All that really stuck was something about commitment and how we should ‘marry our territory,'” explained Mitchell to the crowd of reporters.

He continued, “So Monday morning after breakfast at Patty’s Meat & Three, and after that sidewalk dance we always do, I went over to the county courthouse for a marriage application to Sullivan County.”

When reached for comment  by  reporters,  courthouse employee Ruth Blevins remembers Mitchell as being “well prepared with a notebook, hand-drawn maps, and a handy hip-bag worn ’round his waist.”

“I’s confused as the devil when that young man started askin’ us ’bout gettin’ hitched to the county and whatnot. I couldn’t for the life’a me figure it out,” recalled Blevins.

Mitchell was able to straighten things out after a call was placed to sales support in Nashville. Mitchell added, “I guess I probably shouldn’t have been texting all during the meeting on Sunday.”

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