Potential Recruit Finds Golden “Lifeguarding” Opportunity

Tuscaloosa, AL  –  Alec Lunsford, corporate recruiter for the Southwest Advantages, has been working long hours at the University of Alabama meeting with students and holding interviews searching for good candidates for his sales team.

“I did about 100 hours of phone time and interviewed like 70 people this week. It was awesome,” relates the enthusiastic employer (pictured above left). “I was jamming on commits, my show percentage was good, and I definitely had some sharp kids in the loop – especially Todd McGuiggen.”

Lunsford, who some say is over-eager about team building – being that it’s only the second week of the school year, says,”Why the heck not? Let’s do this!”

The enthusiastic Lunsford finished checking out in Nashville just a few short days ago before heading south to Alabama’s campus. “I was out floating people in front of the library when I met Todd,” recalls Lunsford. “This guy was sharp. He had just rushed a fraternity, said he played intramural flag football, and was looking for a job.”

Lunsord went on to describe how the two arranged schedules for an on-campus interview. The interview, Lunsford claims, was to consist of three separate meetings over three days. “The first two days Todd was totally into it, but then on day three he didn’t show up for some reason,” he recalled. “Instead he just sent me a text that said “Thanx bro, bu I’m out1”

When reached for interview, Todd explained,”Yeah I was thinking about it, but yesterday my buddy Jeff said he could hook me up with this [expletive] sweet lifeguarding position back in Gadsden. I mean, hangin’ out at the [expletive] pool with Jeff all day would be [expletive] killer. Plus, Jeff said this hottie Michelle, who was a year ahead of us, is supposed to be back from UAB next summer too. And lifeguarding’s no easy gig either. I mean you have to go through CPR training and sh*t. They’re pretty selective too.”

Todd, who spent this past summer working as a greeter at his father’s restaurant ‘Gadsden Grille’, explained that his resume could “wait till Junior or Senior year” adding, “You’re only young once, bro!”

Todd then left for his appointment at a local tattoo parlor to get the fraternity’s letters that he had just rushed inked onto his right calf muscle.

Follow-up: Because of his tattoo, Todd McGuiggen has been blackballed from his fraternity’s pledge program since “Only the Brothers wear letters, maggot!”

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